


First Times

by GrumpyJenn



Series: Timey Wimey Adventures [12]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, First Time, T-Plus to M-Minus, Timey-Wimey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-01-06
Packaged: 2017-11-23 23:33:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/627755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpyJenn/pseuds/GrumpyJenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His firsts are often her lasts... and vice-versa</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Times

**River Song**

 

The first time the Doctor made love to River Song, she was on a field trip for her degree in archaeology. She'd hoped she would see him there; they were studying the tunnels under Messaline, and everyone knew he'd started the terraforming on that planet. She hadn't seen him since the hospital, when he'd given her the Blue Book. After she'd killed him. And then saved him.

She barely knew him. But on some level, she loved him. Always had. Always would. It was Amy's fault, of course, Amy'd built him up as this wonderful person, this mythical figure, and he  _was_. Old and young, arrogant and sweet, heedless and oh, so  _kind_. She'd been studying him for months now, and her studies had simply not borne out what she had been taught -  _programmed to believe_  - as a child. But she wasn't a child anymore. She might be only in her twenties on her personal timeline - no matter that she looked forty - but she had certainly lived a full life for all that. She was looking forward to meeting him when she wasn't trying to kill him.

River looked measuringly at the tent-mate assigned to her for this field trip. Nice enough young woman, not overly bright, a bit thick even, but eager and willing to help whenever asked. She clearly thought that River was  _ancient_  at the forty or so she appeared to be, and was simply too nice to say so. River rather liked her, in a fond pat-the-child-on-the-head sort of way. She wondered if it would be like this her whole life, with everyone - except  _him_  - seeming so impossibly  _young._  "Um, River," she said hesitantly, "Don't you think we should, like, wait for the professor before we check out the ruins? They might be dangerous."

"Do as you like, Chloe, but  _I'm_  going to see the ruins." She was packing a number of small, useful items into various pockets in her jacket. She looked at the younger woman. "Well? Make up your mind; you coming or not?" Chloe nodded doubtfully. "Then come along, Chloe, we've ruins to explore!"

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The two girls - one who thought she was prepared for anything and one trailing along behind timidly - crept into the ruins of the underground city that had been abandoned centuries before, when the world had been terraformed. Chloe hadn't exactly come prepared for climbing around a dark and ruined city, and River found herself irritated that Chloe tended to giggle nervously at odd moments. So as they advanced through the old corridors, she ranged further and further ahead, leaving the younger girl behind. She had her torch in one hand and a disintegrator pistol in the other, feeling ready for anything. She loved this sort of thing; who knew what might be round the next corner?

River turned that next corner and teetered on the edge of a gaping hole in the tunnel. She gasped and windmilled her arms to stay upright, and her torch flickered. When she and the torch both steadied, River aimed it down into the hole. She couldn't see the bottom and she shivered, abruptly noticing how silent and dark these tunnels were. She tried to shake off the sudden atavistic fear, and edged carefully around the pit before continuing on down the tunnels, deeper into the labyrinthine corridors beneath the planet's surface.  _All right,_  she thought,  _it should be all right now; I just have to keep a careful eye out for pitfalls then_.

And then she heard the scream. It was one of those long and drawn-out screams, the ones that go on forever as the screamer falls from a very great height. River shuddered sympathetically, and then she realized... she and Chloe were the only people here. She turned and raced back through the dark corridors, screaming Chloe's name, the circle of light thrown by her torch bobbing along in front of her. When the scream cut off just as she reached the edge of the hole, she halted abruptly and slumped to her knees, bruising them on the hard floor. Her torch tumbled from her suddenly numb fingers into the pit, leaving her in blackness.

And then she heard a strange whooping sound.

When she recognized the sound, she sagged with relief, her face buried in her hands, the pistol in her lap.  _It's him. He saved Chloe. She would have died because of me, but he saved her._ The thoughts went round and round in her head. _He could have come for me too, but he didn't, he_ shouldn't, _I nearly killed her, I left her alone in the dark, why should he help_ me _, I would have let her die, he would only save those_ worth  _saving and I would have let her die..._

River was fighting tears, rocking on her heels with her hands over her face, when she felt a touch on her shoulder. She gasped and grabbed for the pistol, gripping it and scrambling to her feet. The hand on her shoulder shifted to grasp her hand, taking the pistol away from her. She struggled but she couldn't get free... and she heard a familiar voice say her name. "River! Stop it now, stop. It's me, the Doctor." He had both of her wrists now, and he was speaking soothingly, as one would to a small child who'd had a nightmare. "Come along, River, you're all right." The voice was amused and tender now, and the hands moved from her wrists up to her shoulders, embracing her. They stood like that for a while, in the dark, with him stroking her back and her shoulders and her fighting not to cry. Then she pulled back very slightly, and he let her go. "Now then, let's go home." He snapped his fingers and the doors to the TARDIS opened, spilling light into the tunnel, and revealing the hole into which Chloe had fallen. River turned away from it.

"I killed her," River said, dully.

"No you didn't."

"I may as well have. I left her alone. In the dark."

"River, she's fine. Well, she's a bit dampish of course, and I'll have to refill the pool, but she's all right. Back at your base camp. Bit scared, naturally. But she's fine."

"I thought you'd leave me here," she whispered, "You should have."

"River, I never would."

"You should have. I would have let her die."

"River.  _I never would_. I wouldn't do that to you." The Doctor led her into the TARDIS and closed the doors behind them, then turned to look at her. She was fighting tears again, shivering with reaction, and his voice gentled further. "Okay, right, come on. Come sit down." He took her hand and sat on the stairs, drawing her down beside him, and enfolded her in his arms. "Now then, River, it's all right," he murmured into her hair. They sat there, her cradled in his arms on the steps of the console room, and he made soothing noises until she stopped trembling. "Your friend is safe, and... what's that human phrase? Oh yes, 'all's well that ends well.'" He chuckled quietly and tipped her chin up with one long finger, then took her hands. "Better now?" She nodded.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly in a choked voice, not meeting his eyes. "I'm not usually this... fragile. But I thought... I thought you had left me here alone to... to punish me for nearly getting Chloe killed. She could have died, and it would have been my fault, and you... you're always saving people. But you wouldn't have saved  _me_ , because it was my own stupid arrogant fault that I was stuck here in the dark, you know? Or at least, that's what I  _thought_." Her voice steadied as she looked him in the eyes. "But I misjudged you. Of course you wouldn't do that; saving people is what you  _do_." A faint note of hysteria crept into her voice. "I just  _leave_  them there to die, for no better reason than because I'm  _annoyed_ with them-" She broke off, confused, as he gave a short, mirthless bark of laughter.

"River, you are so  _young_ , so early in our mad, timey wimey-" He fumbled for the right word. "- _Relationship_. You have  _no idea_  what I'm capable of when it comes to 'leaving people to die.' Why do you  _think_ I go about saving people? It's  _because_  I've left people to die that I must save them whenever I can! Or I... I wouldn't be able to live with myself." His voice broke, and his eyes grew distant, as though he was talking to himself as much as to River. She watched him, aching with sympathy... he seemed to be in such  _pain_. "I hope you've learned that lesson  _now_ , before someone actually does die because of you. Because even after  _hundreds of years_ , I sometimes still make that mistake and leave someone to die. I-" And it was his turn to break off in mid-sentence, because River kissed him.

 _Oh,_ River thought _, I've found out how to shut him up._ She slid her hands up his arms as she kissed him tentatively, then grew bolder and twined her fingers into his hair. His arms tightened reflexively around her as they lingered over the kiss, and she found herself pulling him closer. His hands wandered to her shoulders and then into the hair pinned on top of her head, and she whimpered into his mouth. He broke away, a little breathless. "River, I... are you sure about this? I don't think we've ever done this in your timeline, and I just need to know you're certain. I can't risk hurting you..." He trailed off as she put one finger to his lips.

"Hush now," River whispered, "You won't hurt me. You never would." She slipped her hands under the lapels of his tweed jacket and laid them over his hearts, and he groaned her name and succumbed to her unspoken plea, bending his head to kiss her.  _His mouth fits mine so well_ , she thought,  _as though we were made for each other._  Her hands spread out, feeling the heartbeats quicken. "Doctor. I want you to touch me. Please." She took his hand, placing it gently at her waist, and then she turned her face back up to his.

"Wait." The Doctor's voice was hoarse, with want and need, and maybe sadness, and he took her hands in his and kissed the knuckles one by one. He knelt in front of her where she sat on the stair, and started to unlace her boots. He got them both off, and the socks under them, then ran his hands gently up one leg, rolling up the trouser leg as he went. When he got to her bruised knee, he made a low, sympathetic sound in his throat. "Does it hurt?" He gently brushed a kiss against it.

"No," she said, a little breathlessly, "Not right now." She sighed as he began to work on her other leg. This time he trailed soft kisses from her ankle up the leg to the knee, and he smiled up at her when she moaned as he reached it. He shifted now, to sit beside her on the stair, and gently removed the pins from her hair, so that it tumbled down over his hands. Her breathing quickened as his sensitive fingers stroked her ears and scalp. "How...?"

"How do I know what you like?" He chuckled into her ear, sending shivers down her spine, "Oh my River... for you it's our first time, but for me... well, we've done this before." He nipped at her earlobe and she gasped. "Several times, I believe." She felt him smile against her ear. "But I won't tell you how many times - that would involve spoilers." He started nibbling on her ear, brushing little butterfly kisses along her jaw to her lips. At last he fastened her lips over hers, shuddering a little as she moaned his name into his mouth. His hands slipped out of her hair and down the curve of her neck, and started to undo the buttons on her shirt. She gasped as his fingers brushed her breasts, and he stopped unbuttoning to stroke her through the fabric. Her breath came faster and her head fell back. She arched her back and moaned his name again.

His fingers were moving quickly now, ridding them both of their clothes as fast as he could manage. And then they were both nude, and he slowed again, to that endless-seeming lovemaking.  _So slow and so gentle,_ River thought. And as their bodies merged, she heard the whisper of his mind brushing against hers,  _love you always and completely, my beautiful River Song_ , and the thought was tinged with a quiet sadness and regret in the knowledge that they would be apart more than they would be together. Their loving came to an end, and they lay, bodies and limbs entwined, murmuring endearments and stroking each other's skin, until finally they slept.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

"Oh, him," said the sales clerk in the little shop, looking at the picture River showed him the next time she was on Messaline. "Yeah, he comes by every few years. They say he's the Man Who Never Would - the one who brought us out of the tunnels and into the light. I dunno about  _that_  - he don't look the same, see? - but he's a good man."

"Yes, he is," replied River Song, "The best man I've ever known."

 

**The Doctor**

 

The first time River Song made love to the Doctor was a few days after she had revealed her identity as Melody Pond... for him. For her it was difficult to say. But it didn't really matter to her, because their relationship was mad and topsy-turvy and out of order, and as long as they had time together she was content. The Doctor was a bit... frustrated, however. When they met they were flirtatious and full of innuendo, but that was more in the nature of wishful thinking than actual truth. Thus far.

So he was without expectation - but with plenty of hope - that River would be there in her cell in Stormcage when next he tried to meet her there. He missed her sardonic humour and her ready wit and her wild hair and her... well, most things about her, actually. He wasn't exactly a fan of the tendency toward quick and ready violence, but well... he did like a bad girl, him, and River Song  _definitely_ had some bad girl bits to her. Clever and funny and curvy and warm bad girl bits...

He shook himself quickly and allowed his eyes to dart around the room, his hearts speeding up slightly, before mentally kicking himself.  _Don't be stupid, Doctor,_ he scolded himself.  _The only telepath here is_ you _._   _Well, and the TARDIS. But she won't mind._

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

"Hello, Sweetie," River said as he stepped out of the TARDIS outside her cell at Stormcage. He stared at her. She was wearing a dress without much fabric to it, and she had done something new with her hair - it was all up in little ringlets on top of her head and tendril-y bits of it were brushing her neck and her shoulders and... and she looked... she looked  _amazing_. "My love, perhaps you should close your mouth - you look rather like Jim the Fish. Or haven't you done that yet?" She smiled at him, that little smile that made his knees all wibbly-wobbly, as though he were in two times at once. Again. That was always uncomfortable but sort of pleasant, which was exactly how River's smirk made him feel. He snapped his mouth shut rather belatedly, and then fumbled the sonic screwdriver from his breast pocket, but nearly dropped it and had to tear his gaze away from her hair in order to regain his wits.

The Doctor swallowed, hard, and sonicked the security camera and then her cell door. River sauntered out of the cell and kissed him on the cheek. He closed his eyes briefly to concentrate on the spicy-sweet scent of her, and when he opened them again, she was standing  _very_ close, smiling that smile at him again. "Tim - I mean Jim - the Fish? No, haven't done that." His voice was a little hoarse, and he cleared his throat and recovered himself. "Right, then," he said, briskly clapping his hands together, "Come along, Song, let's go see something amazing, shall we?" He offered her his arm and she accepted it, and they walked together to the TARDIS.

"This never gets old," River said dreamily as they stepped inside the blue box. She stroked the door frame affectionately. "Hello, Old Girl, how've you been?" She laughed that rich laugh and shivers went up the Doctor's spine. "All right, then, How've you been, how are you, how will you be... whatever you like." She smiled at the Doctor. "Now, Sweetie, let's compare diaries so we know what we can say and what we can't. No Jim the Fish yet, you say?" She sat on the stair and crossed her legs demurely, taking her blue book out of her handbag and looking up at him expectantly. He sat on the step below hers, folding his long legs underneath him, and got out the matching book. They sat there with their heads together, and compared the entries in the books and discovered together that it was quite early for him and really rather late for her, which made her sigh with a kind of wistful nostalgia. "Doctor?" He looked up inquiringly, and found her face only inches from his. She smiled that wicked little smile at him and reached out to straighten his bow tie, trailing her fingers along his jaw as she finished.

And then she took his face in her hands, and she kissed him.

 _Oh_ , the Doctor thought,  _the wibbly-wobbly goes all the way up_. He felt his hearts begin to race as she deepened the kiss, and the blue book slid from his hands when her fingers laced around the back of his neck, drawing him in closer. And then he remembered the look on her face the  _last_ time they had kissed like this, the blank and broken look that said she was trying not to show how much he had hurt her when he had walked away, babbling like an idiot.  _"Look at the time," indeed_ , he thought, with disgust at his own stupidity. He had ( _would_ ) hurt her so _much_ , and the thought made him break the kiss and touch his forehead to hers, willing her to understand that he hadn't meant it, he hadn't _known_ how much that offhand remark would/had hurt her. He didn't realize there were tears on his face - and on hers - until she gently wiped them off with one small hand. "What is it, my love?" she asked, and he wanted to tell her.

But he couldn't.

He had to clear his throat several times before he could speak. "I... River, I... oh  _damn_ ," he half-whispered, miserably, "Spoilers." He tried to smile at her, but he knew that, as smiles went, this one was a failure. "River... I need you to remember,  _please_  remember, whatever happens, that I didn't... I don't mean to hurt you.  _Please_." She smiled at him, and he felt a fresh wave of guilt and longing and pain, because she was smiling at him and soon - for her it would be  _soon_  - she would be heartbroken. And it would be his fault. Again. So he closed his eyes and gathered her into his lap and held her, just held her, trying to make her  _feel_ that she was loved, because the  _next_ time... well. So he cradled her there in his arms, and she stroked his back and his shoulders and made soothing noises, and they held each other as he buried his face in her hair.

Eventually the comforting strokes of River's hands on his shoulders became more sensual and she brought her mouth back to his. He started to pull away again, but she held his face firmly between her hands and murmured into his mouth, pleadingly. "Don't leave. Please?"

"But I-"  _I don't want to hurt you,_ he thought _, but I need..._

"Shh... " River whispered, and just... drew him in. Her arms wound around his neck and she pulled him closer. "Please.  _I need you_." There were tears in her voice now, and he felt his hearts breaking at the sound.

He couldn't bear to see her cry - never could - and so he kissed her back, and  _oh!_ he thought,  _so sweet and warm and... and.. so_ River Song _, so much herself._ He groaned her name and shuddered with need as she snuggled deeper into his lap. His hands moved as if of their own accord into her hair, freeing the wild mass of it from the pins and feeling it tumble down around her shoulders and his hands like some sort of curtain of crinkly, silky-soft... silk. He buried his hands in it and combed his fingers through the strands, letting them slip over his skin as she moaned into his mouth.

The sound completely unravelled what little composure the Doctor had left, and he let his fingers slide out of River's hair and down the curve of her neck to unfasten the tie of her dress. The bodice of it pooled around her waist and he groaned again as he realized she wasn't wearing anything beneath it. His hands were on her breasts now, stroking them to aroused peaks, and she arched into his touch, her moans and whimpers and caresses and kisses overwhelming his senses as they overbalanced onto the floor of the console room. And then his brain shut off and he gave into the sensations and the feelings of  _being with River like this_.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Hours later, they lay entwined on the deck of the TARDIS' console room, holding each other and murmuring little endearments - just  _being together_ \- in the afterglow of their loving.

He wanted her to stay. He knew she wouldn't - she had things to do, places to be - but he wanted her to stay with him, here safe with him and the Old Girl. That was all; he just wanted her  _safe_. But she wasn't that kind of girl, his clever and wild bad girl River, not the kind who would be content to stay safe, not when she could be out  _doing_. She wouldn't stay.

"Stay with me." He winced inwardly. He hadn't meant to say it out loud.

"I can't," she whispered, tears in her voice again, stroking his face with her fingertips, "You know that."

"Then you must promise me, River," the Doctor said, looking into her eyes, "Promise me that you will remember,  _whatever happens_ , that you are always and completely loved." She looked at him with an aching sadness in her eyes, and he knew that in spite of all the warnings about spoilers, she knew  _something_  about what was in store for her, in her future and his past. He took her face between his hands. " _Please_ , River. Promise me." He managed a smile, although he felt that it didn't reach his eyes.

River looked searchingly at his face, nodded once, and whispered, "I promise." She smiled back at him, but her smile didn't reach her eyes either, and he knew that she _would_ remember... but that ultimately it wouldn't matter.

They both knew it really, knew that there was no  _happily ever after_ to their story. And so they did the only thing they could bear to do: They loved, and they lived, and they travelled the universe together, and they were happy in the  _now_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Note: these are perhaps not up to my current standard as they are older stories I just unearthed and transferred when someone favorited them on The Other Fan Fiction Place


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